Allowing and struggle are two very different ways of approaching life, that I have found get very different results. Mostly, we seem to move between the two, but at times I have felt stuck in struggling. One of the things I realise about this in retrospect is that at the time, I saw no alternative to struggling. From my current perspective, I know that we do have a choice, it may take practice, but we can choose.
There are times in my life, that I have been immersed in the experience of struggle. A friend once described my approach to life as “scraping my hands on rocks as I climb up the mountain.” Perhaps it is through the experience of struggle, that we at some point ask the question “Is there another way? I know that this is true for me. For years my life was based on a sense of struggle, with moments of “allowing” that were experienced as grace. I wonder if I was just tired from struggling and had to stop and catch my breath.
At some point I realised that there was an alternative to “struggling”. I was introduced to the concept of “allowing” and understood it at an intellectual level. Not a lot changed in my life and I realise now that understanding intellectually was not enough. It was when I started to change my inner feeling level, that there was a shift.
This shift seemed to happen almost effortlessly. It was at a point in my life when I had made some changes. I began studying with a teacher from the Toltec tradition, who spoke about the experience of life being easy. My approach had always been based on a belief that I had to work hard to get results. My teacher spoke about playing and allowing. I gave it a try. I “played” with changing my feelings about myself and life. I opened myself to the possibility that I could have a different experience. My life began to change. This was not a gradual change, it just changed. Areas of my life that had been stuck for quite some time, moved forward almost effortlessly.
Don’t get me wrong, I did take action to bring about change. I got clear about what I wanted and set my goals and intentions. I became aware of my thoughts and feelings and practiced changing them. The thing is, I had set intentions before and worked hard to bring about change, but it didn’t really work for me. It was when I created change at a feeling level and stopped trying so hard that the shifts happened.
I am still playing with changing my energy. I feel open to the new possibilities that are unfolding in my life. I enjoy playing more than working hard and struggling. I still notice myself struggling at times. It’s an old habit. I know that I am learning and practicing a new way of being and it is ok if I don’t always get it right.
Universal Copyright 2012 is authorized here. Please distribute freely as long as both the author Katherine Murray and www.myonesource.com.com are included as the resource and this information is distributed on a non-commercial no charge basis.
