Loving and caring for another individual, especially when there is a mutual dedication and emotional attachment, is one of the greatest thrills in life. Unfortunately, among the hardest tasks in life are letting go of a relationship that is broken beyond repair and allowing for healing a broken heart.
As human beings, we typically crave the companionship of someone who shares mutual interests and common goals in life. When that companionship with a significant other shifts into a romantic relationship, the desire grows to enter a committed, long-term arrangement that may include marriage.
This is wonderful when it works out, in a relationship when there is a reciprocal or mutual sharing of plans for a future together. The danger arises in situations where one partner in the relationship changes his or her mind, for any number of reasons, and decides to end the relationship. The partner left behind suffers abroken heart and may have trouble letting go of a relationship that obviously was not meant to be.
What next? Why is it so easy for some individuals to let go, while others tend to hold on to unfulfilled dreams, and find it difficult to let go and move forward? This behavior is in fact damaging to an individual’s physical, emotional, and spiritual health. In addition, it can hinder the ability of the other person to move on. What is necessary for completely healing a broken heart?
Letting Go of a Relationship & Healing a Broken Heart:
First, if you have suffered a broken heart due to a relationship ended by your former partner, you must understand that you will experience a grieving process not unlike that experienced by people who lose loved ones in cases of death. While the significant other who ended the relationship with you is still alive, you suffer from the death of the relationship, typically accompanied by a broken heart. The first steps toward recovery are acknowledging the grief and allowing yourself to grieve for your loss.
The next step toward recovery is to agree to letting go of a relationship that was not meant to be. You cannot force your former partner to remain with you, or return to the relationship. For your own physical, emotional, and spiritual health, you must let go – for your sake and for your former partner’s sake.
Of course, it is difficult to let go, particularly if you were together for a long time. You may have had a significant degree of emotional investment and may have made plans for a future together. You may feel cheated, lied to, devastated, hopeless, and any number of negative feelings. You may want to try to hang onto your former significant other, or hold onto the dream of what you thought your future would be with that person.
- This is not healthy, for a number of reasons. It can cause complications in many areas of your life: physically, emotionally, and spiritually.Physical complications: stomach and digestion problems; excessive weight gain or loss; inability to sleep enough or sleeping too much; higher blood pressure; heart damage that may mimic heart attack symptoms.
- Emotional complications: increased stress levels; depression; lethargy; substituting potentially harmful practices to try to ease the pain; loss of self-confidence; blaming or loathing yourself; obsessive thoughts about your former partner; suicidal thoughts.
- Spiritual complications: blaming God; withdrawing from fellowship with other believers; turning away from God.
So if you are having trouble letting go of a relationship and desperately need help healing a broken heart, seek counseling with a trusted person in your life. Allow yourself to put everything you’re feeling into words, whether you speak or write, or both. This often has a cathartic effect. Spend time in prayer and meditation, and allow God to comfort you.
Establish closure in your life by removing material objects, such as pictures or nicknacks, that remind you of your time together with your significant other. Be willing to let go and move on, as you take steps to seek new direction in your life.
Look forward, instead of hanging onto the past. You will then be in a much better place to eventually meet the person with whom you can enjoy a “happy forever after” together. God may even bring your former partner back into your life, if it is meant to happen at a future time. As the familiar adage says, “Let go and let God.”
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